Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
