i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
