Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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