How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
