clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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