You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My life is pants optional.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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