if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
