my sisters under your porch take her home
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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