**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think my moral compass just broke
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