Please don't use social media to get back at me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
