Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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