Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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