So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
