were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
