Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
