How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
