I faked an abortion last night.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
