In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
