everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
