I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Too much gin, very little bucket
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
