also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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