Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
