I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
