you win again, gameday.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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