You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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