I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im about as happy as oj after his trial
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
