I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
