I wish life had little blips of pornography
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
