He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
