I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
