Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
