My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
