Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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