Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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