The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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