direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
