I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
