ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
