I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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