there was a trapeze. enough said
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
