Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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