We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
