I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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