Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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