Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
