I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
