____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Everything about him screamed your future.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
