Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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