THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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