the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
