woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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