she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
