is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
