You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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