i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
